Getting Help for Self-Harm in Children and Young People

If your child is self-harming, you are likely feeling frightened, confused and unsure of what to do next. Self-harm in young people is more common than many parents realise, and it is always a sign that a young person is struggling and needs support.

This post explains what self-harm is, why young people self-harm, and most importantly how to get the right therapeutic support in place.

What is Self-Harm?

Self-harm refers to any behaviour in which a young person deliberately hurts themselves as a way of coping with emotional distress. It most commonly takes the form of cutting, but can also include burning, hitting or scratching. Self-harm is not typically a suicide attempt, though it is always a sign that a young person is in significant distress and needs professional support.

Why Do Young People Self-Harm?

Self-harm is almost always a coping mechanism. Young people who self-harm are typically trying to manage overwhelming emotional pain that they do not know how to express or cope with in any other way. For some it provides a temporary release of emotional tension. For others it provides a sense of control in a situation that feels uncontrollable.



Understanding this is important because it shapes how self-harm needs to be responded to, and what kind of therapeutic support is most effective.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy is the most effective route to addressing self-harm in children and young people. The goal of therapy is not simply to stop the self-harming behaviour, but to address the underlying emotional difficulties driving it and help the young person develop healthier ways of coping.



CBT helps young people identify the thoughts, feelings and situations that trigger self-harm, and develop practical alternative coping strategies. Where self-harm is rooted in past trauma or distressing experiences, EMDR can be highly effective in reducing the emotional intensity that drives the behaviour. DBT Skills, which focuses specifically on developing skills for tolerating distress and managing intense emotions, can also play an important role in treatment.

Following an initial assessment, a therapist will recommend the approach best suited to the individual needs of the young person.

Do I Need to Wait for a CAMHS Referral?

No. While a CAMHS referral is one route to support, waiting times can be significant, and self-harm is a situation where getting help quickly matters. A specialist private therapist who works with children and young people can carry out their own assessment and begin treatment relatively quickly, without the waiting times associated with NHS provision.

If You Are Concerned About Your Child's Immediate Safety

If your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If you are concerned about your child's safety but it is not an immediate emergency, contact your GP or take your child to A&E. The Samaritans are available around the clock on 116 123 and can provide support to both young people and parents in crisis.

At Sulis Therapies

At Sulis Therapies, we work with young people who are self-harming, addressing both the behaviour and the underlying difficulties driving it. We offer specialist CBT and EMDR for children and young people up to the age of 26, delivered online across the UK. Get in touch to arrange a free initial consultation and find out how we can help.