How to Talk to Your Child About Starting Therapy

Deciding that your child needs therapy is one thing. Actually having the conversation with them is another. Many parents find this one of the most challenging parts of the process, particularly if their child is resistant, anxious or simply does not understand why they are being referred.

This post offers some practical guidance on how to approach the conversation in a way that is honest, age-appropriate and as low-pressure as possible.

Why the Conversation Matters

How you introduce therapy to your child can have a significant impact on how they approach it. A child who feels forced into something they do not understand is likely to be more resistant and less engaged than one who feels informed, respected and involved in the decision. Taking time to have an honest and thoughtful conversation before the first session can make a real difference to how your child engages with therapy.

Keep it Simple and Honest

You do not need to have all the answers before having the conversation, and you do not need to use clinical language. Keep it simple, age-appropriate and honest. Acknowledge that your child has been finding things difficult, that you want to help, and that speaking to a therapist is one way of getting that help.

Avoid framing therapy as a punishment or a last resort. Avoid telling your child there is something wrong with them. Instead, frame it as a practical step, the same way you might take them to a doctor if they had a physical health problem.

Anticipate their Questions

Your child will likely have questions, and it helps to be prepared. Common questions children and young people ask include: What will I have to talk about? Will you be in the room? Will the therapist tell you what I say? Do I have to go?

Being honest about confidentiality is important. Letting your child know that what they discuss in sessions is private, with the exception of concerns about their safety, can go a long way toward helping them feel safe enough to engage openly.

What if My Child Refuses?

It is not uncommon for children and young people to be reluctant or resistant about starting therapy, particularly teenagers who may feel that therapy implies something is wrong with them or that they are being forced to talk about things they would rather keep private.

If your child is resistant, avoid forcing the issue in a way that increases their anxiety or resentment. Instead, give them some control over the process where possible, letting them know they can stop if they really do not want to continue, or involving them in choosing a therapist. Sometimes simply having an initial consultation with no pressure to commit is enough to reduce resistance.

It can also help to normalise therapy, many young people respond well to knowing that lots of people, including adults they admire, have found therapy helpful.

What to Tell Younger Children

Younger children may need a simpler explanation. Something like "you are going to talk to someone whose job is to help children when they are feeling worried or sad" is often enough. Younger children tend to be less resistant than teenagers and often engage well with therapy once they are there, particularly when the therapist uses creative and playful approaches.

What to Tell Teenagers

Teenagers may need a more direct and honest conversation. Acknowledge their reluctance if it is there, and avoid being dismissive of their concerns. Let them know that therapy is not about being told what to do or having someone analyse them, it is about having a space to talk through what they are finding difficult, with someone who is not their parent or teacher.



At Sulis Therapies, our therapist works exclusively with children and young people and is experienced at building trust with young people who are anxious or reluctant about starting therapy. Get in touch to arrange a free initial consultation and find out how we can help.